Overcoming the Fear of Criticism Forever

The BEST Terrible Times of Life

They say time heals all wounds.

I say it goes much further than that…

From my own life as well as that of many successful people, I can tell you the following:

1. Everyone goes through terrible events and times

2. If, and only IF you have a winner’s mindset, you get out of it 10x stronger!

Bad times either destroy you…

… or they build you into someone truly powerful.

In hindsight, being bullied for years has been on of the BEST experiences of my life! They were horrible at the time, don’t get me wrong. They shattered me into a million broken pieces…

But, I put those pieces together to form a BETTER picture than before!

At the time, people’s mean comments and criticism would break me…

There were plenty of times when I would literally break down and cry.

Through the years though, I learned how to shake off the fear of criticism. I developed strong confidence, core values and self esteem. Because of these things, I would say I’m pretty much immune to the negative opinions of people these days.

Today I’ll share the things that greatly helped me in this journey.

Note: Because this is a pretty big topic, I’ve divided the lessons between the written part, today’s audio lesson as well as the featured video. Each of them will give you a different piece of the puzzle, make sure to check each of them out!

All Sights on the Horizon!

This literally saved my life!

There was a point in my life when I was thinking about ending everything.

But… I also had a more powerful voice speak up inside of me!

When I was contemplating ending it all, this voice basically told me:

“Do not go through with this! You are NOT the problem, they are! Continue on and get better. You’re going to achieve 100x as much as your bullies could even dream of achieving!”

This changed everything, pretty much overnight!

What this did was give me something to look forward to in the future.

I could easily cope with the bullying in the present moment, because I was focused on the future. At the time, I made peace with the fact my bullies were, right in a way. Back then, I really was a loser.

But I vowed not to remain one.

And from one day to the next, I learned to simply laugh along with the bullies. Not only that, but I would even 1-up their jokes. And crucially, I genuinely wasn’t too bothered with their remarks anymore.

The bullying stopped soon after, since there was no more fun in it for them.

Action Step:

If you’re going through a tough time now, you NEED a clear goal!

If you’re not going through one, you also need a clear goal!
(Otherwise, you’re going to feel lost, and create tough times as a result)

Here’s the key to overcoming depression:

The problem with depression is NOT how you’re feeling when you’re going through it. The actual problem is not seeing a way out. Or worse, believing that you do not have any control over depression and life in general.

When crafting a vision for your future, you start to take back control!

This way, you’ll start learning new things, improving your health, learn new skills, improve your situation, etc. And because you can see where you’re going, you’ll be way better equipped to handle the present situation that might not be ideal.

Breaking a Magician’s Spell

Have you ever been completely mind blown by a magic trick?

It can seem fascinating.

However, as soon as someone explains how the magic trick works, it loses most of its power over you. The next time you see the same trick, you can still appreciate the skill of the magician, but this magical feeling will be gone.

Your own mind is like that magician.

There are many tricks that it uses on you, often with disastrous results.

The Solution:

One of the best things you could possibly do for yourself is to learn how the mind works. This way, you can recognize when your mind is leading you astray, creating negative emotions or stopping you from making progress.

If only there was a newsletter dedicated to this… oh wait, that’s this one! ;)

In addition to continuing to read it, subscribe to my YouTube as well.

My Utter Inability to Talk to Girls

For most of my life, I was terrible at talking to girls.

Sometimes I would stutter and not know what to say. Most of the time though, I couldn’t even work up the courage to go and talk to a girl I found attractive… Instead, I would tremble in fear and shy away from the situation.

The fear of rejection was crippling in these situations…

Note: Confidence is often situation-specific. At this time, I wasn’t being bullied anymore, because I learned how to deal with it easily.

The Real Problem?

At the time, I had no clue why I felt intimidated…

Throughout my teens and my early twenties I had this problem. But I could never solve it… Back then, I tried watching content on charisma, confidence, talking to girls, pickup lines and so on. But nothing would work for me.

I would still freeze up and not take any action.

But then, I uncovered the real problem.

This will probably surprise you:

Through introspection, I surfaced a memory from when I was in kindergarten or 3rd grade (around 4 or 5 years old). At the time, I had a crush. My classmates found out about it. And, like toddlers, they mocked and teased me for it.

The Result?

In my mind, I made an association that went something like this:

“If I express my interest in a girl, I will get mocked and ridiculed. I won’t be part of the group anymore, an outcast.”

In fact, I sealed away a part of myself.

Through introspection, I discovered this limiting belief. Through some guided meditation, I started to process what happened back then. Once I started making peace with this negative baggage, I start to re-own that part of me.

Action Step:

Overcoming trauma is a difficult thing, because it’s deeply rooted.

Writing out the entire process in this email would make it WAY too long to read. But, there is a solid process to (re)build confidence by starting to process past events and trauma.

I share the method in this free masterclass, so join it now!

The Key Ingredient for Self Respect

I often see people who struggle with their own self respect and self love. They want to truly

Here’s the brutal truth I need you to understand:

Destroy Fear of Rejection Through Core Values

Let me ask you something:

What would you think if your 7-times-divorced uncle gave you relationship advice?
Would you hire a 300-pound elephant as your personal trainer?
Would you take dieting advice from a vegan?

When you know your core values, this kind of opinions and criticism will bounce right off of you! If you would never want to be like someone, why care about their rejection of you?

In this video, I share how this works and how to find YOUR core values:

Your Superhero Persona

Here’s a technique I learned from Carlos Rodriguez, founder of G2 eSports.

It’s called the superhero list.

Take out a pen and piece of paper for this exercise. You could use a fancy smancy Google Doc or whatever, but nothing trumps putting a pen to paper.

Now, think about the perfect version of yourself.

• What things would that person do every day?

• What core values does the superhero version of yourself have?

• What are the absolute no-gos for your super self?

• How would you think? Solve problems?

• What character traits would you embody?

Think about these things and write them down.

How you write them down is up to you. Maybe you turn it into a story where you describe your superhero self. Perhaps you write it as a bulleted list of qualities. Heck, turn it into a D&D character sheet if you like. You can even give him a name if you like.

It doesn’t matter much how you write it down.

But…

The main criteria is that you light up when you read it.

When you visualize the hero, do you feel inspired to strive towards becoming it?

How to Use Your Superhero Persona

I would recommend 2 ways of using this:

The first way is to read it aloud to yourself every morning and every night before you go to bed. Constantly keep reminding yourself of the 10.0 version of you. Let it be a guiding light, something to aspire to.

And every day, aim to get just a bit closer to acting like this person.

You can even ask yourself “What would [insert super hero name] do now?”.

Secondly:

Did you know Beyonce uses this method herself for her performances?

She has said in some interviews that she has two sides to her. The person she is in her day to day life and the performer. Part of her routine before going on stage would be her visualizing that she steps into the persona. She pretends and acts as her own superhero self.

You can do the same.

Simply close your eyes and imagine your superhero self standing right in front of you.

Then you can visualize something like that version of yourself stepping into you, with the two of you merging. Another thing could be visualizing your superhero self punching you, knocking you out. Then your superhero self takes over from present-day you.

When you open your eyes, act as your superhero.