Never set another goal without THIS

The Most Overlooked Question in Goalsetting
Why your mind might sabotage your goals!

Let’s talk about goals today!

If you’re here, hopefully, you have some goals that you’re working towards. If not, it’s about time you think about them right after you finish reading today’s newsletter!

Let’s talk about the E in the S.M.A.R.T. model of goals.

There isn’t one, you say?

Correct!

And it’s one of the reasons why some people utterly fail at goal achievement.

Let me share a story someone once told me:

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far far away, there was a man.

He had the dream of buying a home in Ireland and moving there.

However, he hadn’t achieved his goal in over a decade…

Ouch!

Imagine the pain of failing for over a decade… He didn’t like it very much and so he sought the help of a coach, because he had the feeling something was holding him back mentally.

The coach walked him through the S.M.A.R.T. model:

Specific? - You bet!
Measurable? - Pretty sure he’d know if he owned a house.
Achievable? - Most definitely!
Realistic? - Yes it was.
Towards and Timely? - Maybe not the timed part, but definitely a towards goal.

So, what was missing?

The E which stands for Ecological.

The coach asked him a crucial question:

“How would you achieving your goal of moving to Ireland affect your wife? How would it affect your kids?”

And the man stopped for a moment…

“… you know, I never thought about that. Let me think…”

And after a while, he came to the conclusion that his wife would have to leave behind her family, friends, career and so on. His kids would have to leave behind friends, move to a strange country and start all over again.

The man said:

“If I’m being honest, I don’t think they would want to come along…

And so the coach asked another question:

“Would you rather have a loving family here? Or be without them in Ireland?”

Why Our Minds Sabotage Us

Do you see the issue?

This man wanted his goal so badly, consciously. However, at a subconscious level, he knew that if he achieved his goal, his family would start to recent and hate him.

THAT’S why he didn’t achieve his goal for a decade!

His mind was protecting him all along.

His mind wouldn’t let him achieve his ambition because it knew this conclusion all along. The man just hadn’t let it pass his mind consciously. And after he realized this, he changed his goal to owning a vacation home in Ireland instead.

And he achieved that before the end of the year!

The moral of the story?

If you’re familiar with the movie Pinocchio, you’ll know Jiminy Cricket who serves as his conscious. In this case, the man’s mind sabotaging him was his conscious telling him that his goal wasn’t ethical for the people he cared about!

We all have a conscious like that.

And ironically, that voice is something we feel subconsciously.

How to Apply the E in Smart

Today I’m gonna give you 2 different sets of questions to think about.

Let’s start with the easiest:

• If I reach this goal, what would be the effects (good and bad) for me?

• What about my family and those I care about?

• What about people, humanity and the earth in general?

You’re looking for positives only for all questions!

If not, your mind might be getting in your way!

I’m gonna assume you’re a good, honest person. Given that, you’d need to think about goals that go beyond just you because that is one of the greatest motivators you could possibly wish for!

Let me give you a quick example before moving on:

Women who want to quit smoking.

Many want to quit, but for whatever reason, they can never seem to kick that destructive habit. The success rate is fairly low for them. That is, until something almost magical happens…

She gets pregnant.

When that happens, most of them can quit pretty much overnight!

Why?

Because now it’s not just about them! In addition to the health detriments for herself, now she has to think about her baby as well. And POOF! Suddenly, she’s not just fighting for herself, but she has the strength of fighting for the unborn child as well.

So, think about how you can make ecological goals that benefit not just you!

Now that’s a SMART E!

Memento Mori, my friend!

Or in English:

Remember you will die!

There’s a Paradox of Time we all face. Contrary to popular statements, you have so much time it is ridiculous! Life is LOOOOOOONNNNNGGGGGG, my friend! However, at the same time, we ought to not squander it.

Here’s what I can guarantee you:

It’s NEVER too Late to Start, but start NOW!

Take my grandma as an example to highlight how we can change things at any point in our lives. She spent the last few years in a nursing home. But even there she was still making new friends there!

Meanwhile…

There are posts online along the lines of:

• “I’m 30 now, is it too late for me to make friends?”

• “I’ll never have any friends, since I have none now (at 27)”

• Am I doomed to stay single if I never dated before leaving college?”

See the point?

There is always time to change!

Take your shot!
Ask her out!
Learn that skill!
Start that business!
Create your art!

But whatever it is you want to do…

Start TODAY! (if you haven’t yet)

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Action Step: Ask These 4 Questions About Your Goals

Before, I promised you a second set of questions to ask about your goals.

Get out a pen and piece of paper for these.

If you have a goal in mind, check it through he lens of the following questions. If you don’t have a goal, keep these in mind when you’re setting them:

• What will happen if I achieve this goal? (look for +)
  I.E. I’m going to be able to retire my parents.

• What won’t happen if I achieve this goal? (look for -)
  I.E. My kids won’t have to live with a scarcity mindset.

• What will happen if I don’t achieve this goal? (look for -)
  I.E. I will have to sell the house and downsize.

• What won’t happen if I don’t achieve this goal? (look for +)
  I.E. I am not going to be the example I want to be to my kids.

Write down everything that comes to mind.

That’s crucial.

Don’t judge yourself while you’re answering these questions. If something comes to mind, even if it’s just a small flash inside your mind. Everything and anything goes when you’re answering the questions.

Now, after you’re done, look at what you’ve written down.

This is where we’re going to look for any inconsistencies.

For example:

Let’s say you look at the first question and you spot that there are one or more negative things on your list. That means that part of you believes that achieving your goal might have negative consequences for you!

And so, your mind might sabotage your goal!

Hint: Look at the sign behind each question. The + means you’ll only want to have positive things happen. The - obviously means you’re looking for negative consequences.

If you notice the opposite, think about how you can adapt your goal to make sure the negative thing isn’t going to happen or that the concern your mind has will be addressed.

And maybe, like the man in our story, it means you should pivot your goal.

Quick Question for You
Thank you for reading this newsletter until the end! Hope it brings great value to you! :)

Since my goal is to help people, I’d like to ask the following:

Is there any question related to personal development that is on your mind? Or perhaps you’re facing a problem in your life? Reply to this email and I’d be happy to talk about it in a future newsletter (if I have a solid answer).

And if you’re getting value from the newsletter, would you consider sharing it?