4 Ways to Manage Stress & Anxiety Like a Champ!

The Key to Better Stress Management

It’s true that some people are better at managing stress than others.

However…

Stress management is kinda like playing football:

While some people are more talented than others, the key is practice. Imagine that Ronaldo never played a single game nor ever practiced. The average Joe that HAS been playing for years would be better than a star player with 0 experience!

Today I’m going to share 4 ways in which you can learn to better manage your stress and anxiety. This way, you can stay cool under pressure and maintain control, rather than freak out internally!

Including something weird (but effective) to do in the bathroom…

1. Don’t Try to Calm Yourself Down!

This one sounds counter-intuitive and I was mindblown when I heard this.

But the idea made sense, and I’ve used it ever since.

If you’re ever in a situation where you feel nervous or anxious, the natural response is to try and calm yourself down. Maybe you found yourself waiting for a job interview constantly telling yourself “It’s gonna be fine, just relax!”.

This is the wrong approach!

“Just relax” might sound simple, but in reality it’s literally impossible.

The problem is that in our physiology, calmness and nervousness are way too far apart. They’re pretty much opposites. So when you tell yourself to shift from one to another, the gap is too big and thus, you can’t just shift to a more relaxed state easily.

In fact, trying to relax will likely make things worse!

You feel stressed but can’t change that state. And now you’re likely getting stressed out about being stressed out. Stressed out about not being able to stop being stressed out. And the stress intensifies.

The Solution to Feeling Stressed Out

So, what should you do instead if trying to calm yourself down is the wrong approach?

Shift from nervousness → excitement.

The physical and mental states of nervousness and excitement are actually pretty closely related. The main difference is that one state makes your performance a lot worse while the other makes it a lot better!

Studies have actually been done on this, for example on acting auditions.

Here’s what they did:

Before the audition, people were divided into two groups.

The first group as the control group, was left alone to prepare in whatever way they wanted. For the second group, the experimenters taught them how to shift from nervousness to excitement. This way, they could better prepare and perform.

The second group was scored about 2x$ - 3x% better! (can’t remember the exact #).

So, how can you make this shift?

The way you can do this is through your inner dialog.

For example, you want to get words like “I’m so nervous” out of your vocabulary. What you’d tell yourself instead is something like “I’m so excited for this opportunity. Or you turn a “I hope I don’t mess up” to “I’m going to present my best self today!”.

Keep all of your focus on your excitement for the chance and doing your best.

It might sound simple, but it’s been proven to work wonders!

2. The Weird Thing I Do in the Bathroom

Whenever I have the chance before a stressful situation, there’s a ritual I like to do.

Here’s the key:

The fastest way to go from one state to another is through our body language. In addition to the mental shift I shared above, I use my body language to feel and become more confident.

It’s a technique that I put together myself, which features 3 principles:

1. Power posing

2. NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming)

3. Visualization

Here’s how it works:

Firstly, you’d find a place where you can do this in peace. My go-to place is the bathroom.

When you’ve found your place, go and stand with your foot at shoulder width and take on open body language. Close your eyes and imagine a time in your life when you felt extremely confident. Go and relive that memory in first person, as if you were there again.

Bonus points if it’s a situation close to the one you’re in now.

Note: If you really can’t think of any, imagine what it would be like or picture a movie scene. Get the image of someone overflowing with confidence clearly in your mind.

Next, with that image in your mind, shift your body language.

Take on the exact body language that you had at the time. Stand the same way you stood back then. Put on a smile, or whatever confident expression you had back then. The closer you can get to that body language, the better.

In the meantime, focus on your memory intensely.

The key is to start reliving the moment: Feel the way you felt back then. Hear what you heard. See what you saw. Maybe you can even recall a certain smell. Just like with your body, try to get your mental state as close to how you were in your memory.

Keep this body language for 1 or 2 minutes (with the memory playing in your mind).

The next step is optional, but I would recommend it.

Think of a gesture, either one that you made back then or one that you could have made at the time. This could be something like a grin and a fist pump, or maybe raising your hands in celebration.

Once you have one in mind, imagine being your past, overly-confident self.

When you feel like you’re ready, step forward as your past self into the present moment, make your power gesture and open your eyes. Take a few deep breaths in the way you’re standing now and then go back to your waiting room.

Tip: When doing this the first time, it’s best if someone guides you through it. Go watch this video and save it for later. I share the technique in more detail and do it with you.

Why Does This Work?

You might be wondering how this technique helps.

There are a few reasons:

When you take on what we call a “power pose” (confident body language), you start to shift the hormone flow in your body. Cortosol (the stress hormone) goes down by as much as 30%. Meanwhile, testosterone (responsible for confidence) goes up by a similar amount.

Secondly, it can completely shift your mindset and focus as well.

And thirdly, you tap into a more resourceful state as well.

By going back to a time when you did feel confident and in control, you remind yourself of your own power and abilities. For a moment, you become the living proof of what you’re really capable of.

Proof is powerful.

You can tell yourself that you feel great over and over, but your mind might reject it. However, when you present (and become) proof that you’ve already overcome other trials, your mind will be way more receptive to the suggestion.

Especially if your memory is closely related to your current situation (I.E. You’re thinking of a job interview that went fantastic when you’re about to walk into one now).

Focus On Your Breathing

Think back to any horror or action movie you’ve recently seen.

What happened when a character was anxious or panicking?

I don’t know what movie you’re thinking of, but I bet that their behavior became more erratic. They might not have been thinking clearly and run on instinct. And perhaps you’ve seen the character breathe quickly and shallowly.

That’s natural behavior that we have under stress and anxiety.

Luckily, this goes both ways!

When you’re in a position where you feel completely stressed out, you will likely showcase the behaviors I mentioned above. But if you were to actively do those behaviors now, you will start feeling more stressed out as well.

This way you could “manufacture” stressm so to speak.

But we can also do the same thing to become more calm.

For this, I would recommend the technique called Boxed Breathing.

This is where you deeply breathe in for 4 seconds, and then hold your breath for another 4 seconds. After holding, breathe out deeply for 4 seconds and then hold your breath for 4 seconds again.

Repeat that a few times.

Here’s a visual overview of this technique:

It’s an incredibly powerful method for calming yourself down.

When you use Boxed Breathing, you’re sending signals to your brain that everything is fine. The idea you send to your subconscious is that there can’t be any “danger” right now, because you wouldn’t be breathing calmly if there were.

Your mind basically says “Guess it’s a false alarm” and some of the stress responses get turned down or turned off.

4. Making Stress & Anxiety Disappear

Imagine you’re in the following situation:

There is no safety net underneath. You have to go from one end of the tightrope to the other without falling down. If you manage to do so successfully, you’ll get $1M.

Would you take the challenge?

My bet is that you’d answer “Hell no!”.

Perhaps even seeing the image might trigger anxiety.

Let’s change the situation a bit:

Right now, you’re not yourself anymore. Instead, you’ve been with their circus for the past 7 years, fulfilling the role of acrobat (not Adobe’s). Among other things, you’ve walked across that tightrope at least 1000 times without falling down.

Would you take on my challenge now?

In this situation, you’d at least consider it, wouldn’t you?

The difference?

Experience.

The techniques above have been centered around managing stress and anxiety in the short term. They help you deal with these emotions better, but they don’t eliminate them.

There is (to my awareness) just 1 permanent solution:

Exposure.

The more you put yourself in situations that trigger your stress and anxiety, the better you’ll do in those situations in the future. The first time I recorded a video, I was terrified. After doing like 50 of them, that anxiety was significantly less.

Now (after having done hundreds), I can just turn on my phone/webcam and speak.

There’s still a LOT I need to improve on, but one thing I don’t worry about is nerves.

Another example:

Some time ago, I interviewed an ex-navy seal. He was terrified of heights. But instead of avoiding them, he went skydiving, bungee jumping, learned how to fly a hang plane and so on.

He did everything he could to challenge himself.

What could you do right now to tackle your fears?

Unlocking an Endless Supply of Motivation

Have you ever set a goal, felt excited, took action for a week, and then felt… empty?

Like all the motivation you had was suddenly gone?

Unfortunately, this is a pretty common thing that many people face.

But don’t worry, because there’s a simple hack you can implement today to get continuous motivation. So rather than having a single burst, you’ll be motivated the entire way towards your goal.

Here’s how to unlock your motivation today:

Life Spiraling Out of Control? Do This!

Hopefully, you’re not in a situation like this, but what if life feels like it’s spiraling out of control? What if you’re in a position where things only seem to get worse and you feel you have little control over your own life?

How would you get out of a tight spot like that?

I’ve been in that position and have gotten out. In this video I share how life can start spiraling out of control and the solutions to get back on track.

Watch it now, and give it a quick thumbs up if you’re on YouTube!

I’m Throwing the Gauntlet at You!

Up for a challenge?

The only way to really make progress is through action. It’s just like doing push ups. NO matter how much you read about them, you’re not getting any stronger! You need to do the work in order for that to happen.

Here’s what I’d like you to think about:

What’s something that you know is good for you, but that you aren’t doing because you’re afraid of doing it?

Think of at least 1 thing (more is a bonus).

That’s your challenge for today!

Get out there and take action by doing something that you fear. It’s the only lasting way to overcome that fear. You don’t want to wake up years from now while being in the exact same situation you’re in today, do you?

The gauntlet has been thrown, but will you pick it up?